i lie in bed. tv's on. and I'm trying to do an essay.
i wonder if i have grown. i haven't been through many boys, had many relationships, but i feel like i've a lot after each one. or maybe its just me being immature and silly, thinking I'm all grown up now. i feel like if ever, i'm currently in a position to understand myself. no one understands me. no one knows why I'm doing what I'm doing, or how much pain i've sadly accepted. but i know, i swear i do. i've put myself in this, messy as position, i know i have gotten myself into this, but i'm ok with it. i will accept the consequences to my actions. maybe i just feel a little lonely.
i wish i could stop thinking so much and find closure. closure in everything in my life. cannot deal with so many problems. i wanna escape. pronto.
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