I think I'm sad. I think I'm really sad.

Damn.

I've always wanted to be the strong one. The macho one. The strong willed determined hard core one. Ive always thought I was able to put myself through anything. Come out victorious in any situation. I genuinely thought I would be able to go through all types of pain and loneliness with minimal damage. I thought i had a heart of rock, modern day independent superwoman.

I don't. I'm not. Damn. What now?

generals

Well, where do i start! So much has changed since my last post, and to be honest, I really thought I was over this whole blogging thing, but then i was told by a sweetheart that she still reads it, so i thought i'd dedicate this one to you <3

so.. i dated, had an awesome time, fell in love (at least i think) fell out, got hurt, broke up. Last 6 months in a nutshell. It's quite saddening to know that it's all over... at one point, i was so sure that it was going to be us for the rest of our lives.. but i'm a joke. 20 years young, and doesn't know a thing. it's alright, i'm sure there will be many more surprises to come.

so since breaking up.. i haven't really had time to mourn yet.. i've been quite busy with work.. and rushing assignments.. catching up with family and friends.. it's all good. maybe i can avoid this mourning stage altogether! i do hope he's ok though, he is much more weaker than me, and does have less support... so i hope he's well. having to say that, i am actually still too angry to show any care. i think anger is a good way to end relationships. it really does end things clear cut. the way i want.

so from now on, what will i do? take it easy.. take it real easy.. stay away from relationships for a while.. and also a new promise i will make myself.. only date older men. young men are immature.

that's all for now.. but i do hope to come back soon. =)